I have returned, time for some humour.

Joke submitted by Coaster:

Jesus came upon a small crowd who had surrounded a young woman they believed to be an adulteress. They were preparing to stone her to death.

To calm the situation, Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you, let them cast the first stone."

Suddenly, an old lady at the back of the crowd picked up a huge rock and lobbed it at the young woman, scoring a direct hit on her head. The unfortunate young lady collapsed dead on the spot.

Jesus looked over towards the old lady and said: "Do you know, Mother, sometimes you really piss me off."

 Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?


  A: You only need one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus.

 What did Jesus say when they removed his hands from the cross?

 *waves arms frantically*
GET THE FEET!!




           


 




 

Q: What's the difference between jesus and a vagina?
A: A vagina is still good after a couple of nails

It only takes one nail to hang a picture of jesus.


I'm not sure what to get Jesus this year for his birthday?  Well what did you get him last year?  I got him a nail gun. It didn't so well. 

 How do you get a Nun pregnant? 1.Dress her up like an altar boy. 

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.